In Praise of Vancouver

Vancouver, British Columbia - how do I love thee? Let me count the ways......

* for your magnificent natural setting. With the ocean meeting up with the Coast Mountains, it's an unbeatable foundation for a world class city. When I used to live in North Carolina, I had to choose between going to the beach or going to the mountains. Here, I can lay out at the beach while viewing the majestic mountains.

* for your wonderful diversity. Today while walking home from brunch, I passed many groups of people who weren't speaking English. Vancouver embraces every group imaginable and weaves them into her fabric. The world is here in Vancouver. If you don't dig diversity, you won't like our fair city.

* for your vibrant downtown core. David and I have never lived in a downtown setting before moving here. Now you couldn't pay us to leave downtown. Everything we need is within blocks of our place. Within about 2 sq blocks of our home there's a coffee shop, grocery store, liquor store, wine bar, dry cleaners, medical clinic, sushi bar, bank, office supply store, and drug department store. We are blocks from the seawall. 4 blocks from my church. We walk everywhere. It's magical!

* for your wonderful weather. This is perhaps Vancouver's best kept secret. We tell everyone it rains here all the time. Pssst -it's not true (90% of Vancouver's yearly rainfall occurs during the winter only) Once I moved here, I found out that we tell everyone it rains all year long just to keep more Torontonians from moving here. Mild, wet winters. Beautiful, colourful springs. Warm, sunny, long summer days. Crisp, comfortable autumns. The flowers start blooming in late Feb-early March. Since it rarely snows here, Vancouver is green year-round. You can sit outside on cafe patios in the middle of January and have a coffee. It's truly an outdoor city.

* for your holistic lifestyle. Since moving to Vancouver, I have lost weight, gained muscle, increased my energy levels, and lowered my bodyfat percentage. At the age of 45, I am in the best shape of my life. Why? Physical fitness is par for the course here. Everybody's doing it. It's in the air. You "catch" it from others around you. Instead of meeting after work for a drinking frenzy, you meet on the slopes to ski. Instead of driving to a party, you walk or bike there. Almost without exception, every one of my friends from the USA who comes to visit me says "WOW - everyone is so fit here".

I could go on and on. Needless to say, David and I love it here. Many times we pinch ourselves to make sure we're not dreaming. I cannot imagine living anywhere else. Peace and light.

Reflections Upon Turning 45

My birthday was this past Friday, July 10. I turned 45 years old. Most people in popular culture would say that I am now clearly in middle age. According to the United Church of Canada, I am still a younger adult, although at the very jumping off point. My "real age" is 36 (NOW we're talking. To find out your real age, go to http://www.realage.com/). But at the end of the day, the words from the hymn "I Was There To Hear Your Borning Cry" describe my feelings at this stage of life: "In the middle ages of your life, not too old, no longer young. I'll be there to guide you through the night, complete what I've begun."

Looking back over my life thus far and particularly after my birthday party this past Friday night (GREAT party!! Thanks David for organizing it ), I am in a very grateful, thankful space.

* I am grateful for my Christian heritage. As noted in my very first blog, I was raised fundamentalist Christian. I now consider myself postmodern Christian. I REALLY wanted to be a Unitarian, but I missed the Christian framework. Without launching into all the reasons why I am not fundamentalist or even evangelical Christian anymore, I can say that I am grateful for the strong foundation of my Christian upbringing. Yes - I've had to get rid of the crap that comes with fundamentalism. Yes - I've had to re-frame my Christian faith. Yes - I've had to build my life with good, sound theology. BUT I am grateful for my strong Biblical knowledge, the love of Christ instilled in me (that evangelical "love affair with Jesus" is still there), and the key experiences of my early Christian formation (yes I've been "born again"). Most importantly, I am grateful that my early Christian heritage deposited and nurtured in me a seed of faith that is growing and thriving to this day.

* I am grateful for my wonderful upbringing. My Myers-Briggs score is ENFJ. I am a Type 3 (The Achiever) on the Enneagram. I am sanguine. Every career test I take indicates I should be in sales (which I am). Ask anybody who knows me, and they will tell you that I have a cheery, optimistic, can-do approach to life. I have to thank my amazing parents for their part in this. Our house was filled with laughter and good times. My parents supported me in everything I did. Was everything 100% perfect? Of course not. But I had a great childhood. And I do not take any of this for granted. Thank you Mom and Dad!

* I am grateful for the dark moments in my life. Even though I'm the cheery, happy, optimistic type, I am not immune from suffering and hard times. I have been through a divorce, agonized over my sexual orientation, spent 15 months in an ex-gay program in an attempt to "heal" me of my same sex attractions, finally came out of the closet and experienced rejection from the conservative, Christian community over my sexuality, spent time in therapy to help heal the wounds of fundamentalism in my life, and currently struggling with rebuilding my embattled business due to the global economic slowdown. But I embrace all this as part of the journey. Like my early Christian heritage, the dark nights of the soul also make me who I am today.

* I am grateful for my family. David Leon Watson and I have been together for almost 15 years, legally married for almost 5 years (since Canada legalized same sex marriage). The support, love, and encouragement he gives me is simply indescribable. We have been through thick and thin together, laughter and tears almost to the breaking point, but have emerged better people because of the other. Our home is a haven of rest. I love walking into our place - it is safe, accepting, warm, and full of love. It's a retreat for me from the outside world. We have followed our hearts and marched to the beat of our own drummer. And the fruits of our union are indeed good fruits of love, joy, peace, and kindness.

* I am grateful for my community. And this brings my blog back full circle, for it is my community of friends that initiated all this reflection anyway. Just like it takes a village to raise a child, it takes a community to form a man. I am utterly without words in describing the amazing joy I have in my community. David and I frequently talk about how blessed we are with so many wonderful friends. Friends who are quite different in many ways. Friends that bring so many different gifts to our lives that sharpen us and shape us. Friends that have been with us in our own dark nights of the soul. Friends that share laughter and encouragement, and that call us on our bullshit when needed. The Proverbs states that "he who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm." How true. My wise, wonderful friends have helped me grow in ways I never would have grown without them. We were never meant to do this alone. We need community. And the voice of wisdom is best discerned in the context of community.

So there you go. May I encourage everyone reading this to follow the path of your heart. Don't let others tell you what you should do, or what's best for you, or what's not best for you. The most liberating day of my life was when I decided to follow the Spirt of Truth within me that Jesus encouraged me to do. To decide to be a man of integrity. To be a man of honesty. To be a man with no excuses, no regrets, and no apologies for who he is. As Ghandi said: don't follow the beaten track, but find out the true path for yourself and follow it fearlessly. It's been a process and still continues.

No matter what age you are, follow your heart. Follow your dreams. Listen to the still small voice inside. Celebrate your past, your present, and your future. Realize you need others and can't do it alone. Open your heart and be vulnerable with your community. Give back to your world in some way - practice gratitude in action. And live life abundantly! Namaste.